Un_sex your Mind.

The culture sells Love as what you feel in the first place. But What happens after being together? Happily ever after? Why do all the stories end in marriage? Why do all the stories tell only how they met?

I remember having this discussion with a friend, I asked when meeting someone new, of the opposite sex what is the first thing coming to your mind? How does your body react? Some people will make sure they pose attractively or fix their tie, hair, lips, etc. When some men see a girl with a wide hip, what do they think? And why do some women increase their hip size? breast size? What is the motive behind it? This is stage two, where someone actually alters the shape or size of their body part to feel attractive or wanted. Stage one is based on body reactions, some change their voices when talking, or the way they walk when seeing or meeting someone of the opposite sex.

Is there a possibility of looking at people without sexual background thoughts? We will find out at the end of this series of ‘unsex your mind’

According to Biology, Dopamine is the primary neurochemical responsible for the experiences of attraction and desire. The high levels of Dopamine happen when we’re first pursuing a relationship with someone in who we’re very interested. This high level of dopamine makes a new relationship feel extremely exciting and rewarding. There’s nothing wrong with these feelings. In fact, they are an important part of building the foundation of a long-term relationship. After about six months to a year of being together, dopamine ease. Other neurochemicals related to long-term attachment are released instead.

This shows every action we do affects our brain, the release of these chemicals depends on your actions and focus.

The fact that Love can be translated or understood through feelings does not mean love is a feeling. The feelings are merely chemical reactions.  The feeling you get when you meet someone you like is not Love. I believe Love must be proved beyond your heartbeats or your sweaty hands. This is why most relationships end after the dopamine rush, which they thought was love. Love is not a confession you recite to make the other person feel good, although you must confess your love. Love is not getting goosebumps although goosebumps feel magical. Love is not accidentally or dramatically kissing each other. Love is not when you lose control. Be very careful when you lose control. Love is not blind as society claims.

Love is not something you got to try on, To Love is a choice, it is not an uncontrollable force coming over you like how many assume. Everyone you meet has the potential to be loved regardless of their character, physique, background, or race. Love doesn’t have such limits. So if you say I love short girls or men, that’s not Love. You’re just attracted to them. 

If you watch romantic movies, you will learn that Love is perceived as what you feel in the first place. Love is based on the physical appearance of this beautiful girl or that good-looking man. The worst part about this is that it has left many insecure about their looks, bodies because of what society has pointed to as sexy, beautiful, and hot. You don’t have to be sexy! Because love has nothing to do with being or looking sexy.  You just need to take care of your body and present yourself not for the sake of being wanted, but for the sake of identifying your values, beliefs, and who you are.

You don’t have to be hot, you don’t need to burn anyone. Being hot is a myth,  everybody grows old. And there is beauty in every stage of growth, from childhood to old age. We have to redefine beauty,  beautiful people are not people with a special size of legs or nose, beauty is all the forms, colors, and sizes with their differences. So if you’re black or brown, you’re still beautiful. Don’t try to change yourself to fit the artificial standards of our society.