How to Overcome Body-Shaming Online

The role of self-image in overcoming Cyberbullying.

When I was growing up, I remember many of our close relatives said I looked like my father. I used to be offended when someone said that. But later, I came to agree with that fact and even accepted it. I found out my value and accepted my body. No one else in this world is like me. So why neglect the only precious thing God has gifted me? I do not care about what people think about my beauty. My DNA composition is unique so the comparison is futile.

Today I saw a comment from Zuchu, a Tanzanian singer’s fun Page, and it triggered me to write about this. A few people commented about her beauty. One said ” she’s simple and ugly”, another commented ” she’s not attractive ” and other uncivilized comments. 

This reminded me back in school, how students bullied each other, they said bad comments about one’s head, nose, or any other part of the body. I remember we would compare people to find out who is beautiful or has nice features. This is what is happening on social media too, women are compared and criticized about their body features. Women who are skinny versus women who are curved. It’s like the curved one is considered a woman and others copies. In other words, online spaces become places to devour one’s confidence and esteem. Previous studies have found that around half of adults seeking cosmetic surgery report a history of teasing or bullying.

There are stories of women who change their noses, and buttocks, just to feel secure. For example, Trinette Horner said she was bullied about her nose as a child and decided to do surgery when she became an adult.

Body shaming is common too even in our homes, mothers would criticize some parts of their children’s bodies. Neighbors would do the same thing. A child is growing up disliking some parts of her/his body. Not only that, but they also pass the chain of abuse to other children. Research indicates that verbal bullying using insults is the most common form of bullying experienced by 7- to 10-year-old children.

Photo by Alexander-suhorucov

Cyberbullying refers to the use of digital technology to cause harm to other people. It can take place over text messages, social media, apps, or online forums and involves posting or sending harmful content, including messages and photos, and sharing personal information that causes humiliation. The thing about social media, it is verbalizing what is already going on in our homes and society.  Women are victims but they are also perpetrators of online abuse. The abuse did not start online. 

 What can we do now?

Change your thinking: poor psychological functioning and poor body image are among the leading drivers of cosmetic surgery. This means we can fortify our minds with the right information to start seeing ourselves right and accepting our bodies. We can also see others’ bodies right. 

There are no standards of beauty,  stop comparing people, each woman is unique just like her DNA. There is no better shape, the most celebrated shape of a woman does not define beauty. I said this in my previous article, women have different sizes, textures, shapes, and colors, they’re all beautiful in their own way. The intent to shame others because of their body is ignorant in itself. 

Accept your body: even if you’re a disabled person, It is not an excuse to shame or hate your body. Don’t find inspiration to like yourself from people. If we do not accept our bodies, when will we? If we do not teach our children to love their bodies, who will? When we accept who we are, bullies will not feel like an arrow in the chest, it will be like a fool’s joke that doesn’t interest us. The famous Nick Vujicic who was born without limbs stands in front of millions of people to deliver his messages in different parts of the world. This is proof of someone who has accepted himself and continues to add value to his life and others’ lives.

Use online anti bullies tools: while not everyone’s mind is mature enough you can use tools to protect yourself online, Each social platform offers different tools that allow you to restrict who can comment on or view your posts, and to report cases of bullying. Many of them involve simple steps to block, mute, or report cyberbullying. I encourage you to explore them.

Go anywhere boldly and live out your convictions,  only when you have accepted yourself and value yourself you’ll despise the bullies. Those who bully are lost in this lie, thinking that there are standards. Everyone is born beautiful, being attractive is a matter of self-care not just for your body but also for your spirit and soul. We tend to admire people whose souls bring out the life and whose spirits command harmony. Well, they were not born like that, it’s something we can learn too. Just because society doesn’t accept big noses, doesn’t mean you should resize yours. Find your true value and accept yourself.