Not All Beauty is Documented.

Break the bias.

According to Mirriam Webster’s dictionary, beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. Beauty is a subject of philosophy yet not all beauty is documented. 

The theme for 2022 International Women’s day is ‘breaking the bias’ and one of bias I would like to break today is around the definition of a beautiful woman. This article is about embracing the true meaning of beauty, distancing oneself with polished lies of what a beautiful woman looks like.

A lot of young women look at beauty as something to attain, they look at beauty as a product, and that product is owned by society. Society defines what beauty is, and women want to buy it. They buy the product until they realize the expiry date of the product.  I used to like this song by Beyonce ‘Pretty Hurts”, in the song video we see women trying to be in shape, maintain the same waist size, it is as if all women need to have a specific size and shape, and that process was painful. This is why there is a “beauty industry”. It is not a bad thing, but a girl, a woman needs to understand her real worth before society tells her. The worth of a woman is not in her shape, in her style, or fashion, it is not in the brands she wears or how many followers she has on Instagram. The worth of a woman is in her authenticity, her service to people, her works, and her contributions to humanity. This cannot be erased by anything.

Recently, Miss world Africa and Nigerian Model, Nyekachi Douglas confessed that society’s definition of beauty is everything that she is not. She was bullied for her appearance claiming that she looked boyish. In my country, Tanzania it’s a common saying even among women to say ‘ this girl/lady does not have a shape’, they mean that, her hips are not wide, her waist is not small, her buttocks are not large. This is the idea of a beautiful woman a lot of people have, this can be evidenced by the desire of young women to increase the size of their breasts, hips, buttocks just to feel beautiful and attractive.

Being attractive should not be the goal of a woman. It is always a waste of time to please people, as a little girl I almost fell into this trap, but I realized later that I don’t need all the men in the world, I don’t need men to like me, follow or hunt me. There’s nothing noble about it. Some go into that road for the chase of fulfillment, approval, feeling loved or wanted.

The period of flowering may be attractive to many viewers; it’s a blooming stage.  I compare this to being young, women should not build their confidence on their youthfulness or the viewer’s approval. Being young is seasonal, I love how Miranda Naiman, an award-winning Tanzanian entrepreneur who is in her late 30’s, said;  ‘ We are at the age where we see wrinkles, gray hair, and extra kilos. We see the cute 25-year-olds and reminisce. But we were also 25, just as they will one day be our age. We aren’t the girls in the summer clothes anymore. What they bring to the table with their youth and zest, we bring our wisdom and experience’. She further explained that getting older is a privilege that is denied by many women. She explains the experiences of womanhood, responsibilities, and roles she’s playing and encourages women to enter this stage with grace and pride over everything they have been through. Therefore to be a woman is beyond looks, it is fully giving yourself into impacting your environment and people around you. But this is only possible when a woman has grasped her true worth.

To be beautiful is not the goal, because it is something women were born with. Women need to embrace their true beauty.  Women need to accept and be proud of their physical variations. Beauty is like a weapon, use it for impact. We don’t remember the shape of Maya Angelou, but we will always remember her poetry and stories. We will not remember the shape of Mother Theressa but will always be inspired by her kindness. We don’t remember the hips of Michelle Obama, we remember the changes she pioneered. We don’t remember Beyonce’s hair but we will always remember her songs. Physical appearance is important but useless if a person has nothing to offer, nothing to impact her environment, family, or country.

In my previous article, I referred to myself as ‘more than a woman’. This figurative title portrays the picture of a woman in society. Society views women as caretakers, helpers, pleasure objects, advertising strategies but we are more than that. 

Happy International Women’s Day.