Poor financial habits influenced by African culture -Part II
Our Relationships and Money
Distant dependents
According to the 2022 Tanzania Census results, only 21.5 million Tanzanians live in the Urban while about 40.1 million Tanzanians live in the rural. It is common to find families in urban areas paying rent, paying for education, and paying for utilities for their extended family or distant relatives in the village. In the previous post, we discussed establishing boundaries, and offering your support only if you are able. I am not against sending money home, my question is will it ever be enough? For how long will you be sending money? How can we empower our relatives to be more self-sustainable and independent? This is a question I leave to you.
“Worthy charity helps people. Unworthy charity that completely takes over a task makes recipients of such charity dependent.”― Daniel Lapin, Business Secrets from the Bible: Spiritual Success Strategies for Financial Abundance
Irresponsibility in love affairs
The Smart Money Woman series has highlighted the story of a woman who religiously gives money to her husband so he can look like he’s doing his job. In our culture, it is an honour when a woman gets married, even early. Most women take pride in having a husband because of the pressure from culture, some are too desperate to even help the man pay his dowry, and even meet the family’s needs. Marriage is an institution, it is not just about sex. Seek someone who can be responsible, not just someone with muscles. Both males and females have other roles to play such as parenting, housekeeping, investing, etc. It is a union, not a show-off, there should be elements of collaboration and working together toward a shared vision. There is nothing wrong with giving money to the husband, but here we had an example of where the woman gives money to an irresponsible husband, who misuses the funds and keeps returning to the wife. This should not be acceptable! I love how Rabi Lupin said in his book ‘ Business Secrets from the Bible’ that when someone plays with your money, they are playing with your life because that money is a product of your labour and time.
This can be two ways, some women are irresponsible with the funds they entrusted to their husbands by either keeping up with all trends, desire to look rich or impress family members and friends. All these will crash the wheels of your finances. Any irresponsibility should be addressed and not tolerated if you want to make progress in your financial journey.
Navigating Peer Pressure
I was having this conversation over lunch with my friends, and one of them was explaining the number of other friends she’s about to host in the coming weeks. These are friends who will stay in her place while visiting Tanzania. So we were discussing how uncomfortable it is to let down your friends because you don’t have the money, and sometimes not that you don’t have, it is just not in your plans especially when it involves spending money. The same topic I discussed with my brother and he mentioned how he has changed from spending the last money he has in the club by buying an alcoholic drink, while sometimes he just wants to drink juice or water! He explained the pressure to be seen as rich, and having so much fun with your life which in reality is self-destruction if you are doing it for the show. Our lives don’t have to be the same, we should live life according to our plans, choices, and decisions and not because everyone else is doing it.
I asked some of you to share other habits influenced by our culture, and one shared how she grew up seeing her mother complaining about not having enough money, yet when a neighbor comes to ask for a contribution she will go beyond her means.
It is my hope that at the end of this series of poor financial habits influenced by African culture, we will learn to identify them and correct ourselves so we can have a healthy financial life filled with growth, multiplication and a solid foundation.