The Paradox of a woman’s worth

In 2018 I was invited to speak in a women’s conference known as Love Conference. It was one of my first and official speaking engagements with more than a hundred women from different backgrounds. I posed a question to the public, what exactly is a woman’s worth?

The Illusion of External Validation

What do women think is their worth? Some women feel their worth is in the features of their bodies, the length or texture of their hair. Some draw their worth from who they know, where they have been, the countries they visited. Others place their worth in the brands they wear, like a gucci bag, dior shoes , brazilian hair , french nails. Others place their worth in their resume, the certificates and recommendations.

What exactly is a woman’s worth? In our culture today, There is a struggle to look cute, to be more liked and accepted among young women.This has pressured some women to show off more of their bodies and even change their bodies to have the most celebrated shape or look just to feel worthy. Is a woman’s worth determined by men? or society? or the world fashion magazine?. Worth should be determined by you, worth should be felt and embraced by you. It is unwise to seek worth outside you. This is why it’s called ‘self-worth’.

The word worth is synonymous to benefit, importance, meaningfulness, merit, significance, usefulness, weight, price, quality. It is hard to understand the worth of water before understanding the purpose of water.

No one needs to prove water is important, even if you refuse to drink water or accept the benefits of water . Water will continue to serve its purpose long as it exist.

In chemistry, when a substance is combined with water, a chemical reaction called a ‘hydration reaction’ occurs. Just as water’s worth lies in its essential role in sustaining life, each individual possesses innate value simply by existing. This worth extends beyond physical attributes or accomplishments to encompass the entirety of one’s being.

Embrace Your Personal Presence

Our very presense is our worth. Sometimes we get to realise this when we loose a family member or someone close. They may have been old or not in a position to give you money or a job but their words, their eyes, their shoulders, their ears, their hands helped you navigate the seasons of life. It is not their outlook that touched us, it is their being, the whole self. This is the worth I am talking about. This is how you should think about yourself, you don’t need to add anything, you were made worthy. I like how Matt Haig explains this in his book ‘The Comfort Book’ 

“Your worth is you. Your worth is your presence. Your worth is right there. Your worth isn’t something you earn. Your worth isn’t something you buy. Your worth isn’t something you gain through status on popularity or stomach crunches or having a really chic kitchen. Your worth is your existence. You were born with worth, as all babies are, and that worth doesn’t disappear simply because you have grown a little older. You are a human, being.”

Your worth isn’t contingent on external factors or societal standards. Rather, it is intrinsically tied to your unique existence and the impact you have on those around you. Do not allow the culture to reduce or dictate your worth. No one is in control of your thoughts except you.

Imagine how important pets are to us, yet their value is not how much we bought them but the warmth they bring with their very presence. Once you understand your worth, and feel it you will also see the worth in others. Every human life has worth, because every man or woman has the potential to contribute something important to humanity.

What can you do to live and portray your worth? Follow this blog to receive the continuation of this wonderful piece of thought.