Hey there again.

It’s been a while since our minds collided, our thoughts agreeing and disagreeing. I have been challenged to write more when life showed me it’s other side. But I lacked the courage to share it with you. Today, I’m summoning that courage.

I have been in love before. I remember I was in my second year at the University. I once posted on Facebook ” how do people fall in love?” , I was genuinely curious and waiting for that feeling to overtake me someday. Love is not that dangerous, as our culture today put’s so much emphasis on things like ‘ no strings attached’ or catch flights not feelings”. We are humans, not AI. We feel, we love, we cry , we laugh, we can’t just abandon our nature just because we cant understand something. But it doesn’t mean we act foolish, we need wisdom in everything. I did not die when my first lover and I decided to go separate ways, although I lived with him in my head four years later. This too is so human.

The word ‘falling’ may be a curse in itself. Love should no be something that takes you down. Do you know love does not end when you choose to leave someone or when someone has left you?. What ends is a relationship, but love remains with you. You carry it wherever you go. Don’t let bitterness, anger , revenge fill your heart that it replaces the love you felt for people. Have you met people who say ” All men are dogs?” They have turned one tragic moment into a doctrine. That feeling of love, no one gives it to you, it springs from you.

Love is not a ghost who comes to visit you and your lover so you can feel good. Love is two people choosing to show love through actions. ‘Don’t say you love me, show me’ I like to say this. Therefore, instead of falling in love, I am choosing to walk in love. I’m choosing to walk the talk.

What does this even mean?

Imagine love is a floor with different tiles on. Some tiles are named patience, some kindness, some forgiveness , trust , self control , hope, unity etc. These are not list of things you need to do to people. These are virtues you need to adopt. This is who you need to become.

You might say ” Najma, why should I become loving?” , well, because if you don’t, your bones will rot. Love is not only what we give to people, it is also what we give ourselves. It is how we choose to respond to life around us. Love is not an option, if you want a fulfilling and healthy life.

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